Days 16-17 Collection

Day 16: The Best Is Yet To Come

I'm working on a project at the Chaplain's Office. I've been worried that this project will not work out as I would like it to. However, things are falling in place. It's almost kismet. I'm slowly getting excited because I'm meeting people who I click with, and who can make my ideas much better- adding quality and quantity in areas that I could never get to.

It's amazing and a bit overwhelming. But I think I'm ready... I keep forecasting the future, and all I see is clear skies. I'm expecting it. The bible says "write the vision and make it plain." So I will. The best is yet to come. In every area of my life, personally, professional, academically. I'm in a good place as it is.. and the best is yet come. 

Hold on while I have a moment to myself.

Day 17: I Am Blessed and Highly Favored

bless·ed

adjective

1. consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified

2. worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship

3. divinely or supremely favored; fortunate

4. blissfully happy or contented.

fa·vored

adjective

1. regarded or treated with preference or partiality

2. enjoying special advantages; privileged

3. of specified appearance (usually used in combination)

Days 14-15 Collection

Day 14: Woosah. Rubs Ears. Woosah. Rubs Ears.

I took a break from writing the memoirs this weekend. Not because I didn't think of some. I had a couple.. but they were ones I did not want to post. A little too personal.. but no less meaningful.

Today, however, it's the first day of class! I can't believe it's here already. All this work has come up to this day. I'm a little anxious and feeling overwhelmed with everything that I am a part of. I was just offered the position as NASPA Graduate Associate which is awesome, but that's one more responsibility. I seriously hope I have not overloaded. 

I've started meditating. It's pretty awesome.. I sat outside this morning around 7:45 and meditated for 15 minutes. I think it helped but today I can't help the anxious feeling that it's about to begin. My last first day of class for my master's degree...

Day 15: Some Dreams Are Relays, Not Sprints.

This was taken from Julian Castro's speech at the Democratic National Convention. His actual quote was "the American Dream is not a sprint, or even a marathon-- but a relay." 

When he said that, I cried. Finally, I thought, someone gets it. I typically don't reflect like this during a politician's speech, but I thought about my parents. My mom never went to college but she has always encouraged my sisters and I to excel. When she realized our best in school was As and Bs, she challenged us to do more. She came to almost every school function any of us were involved in, from marching band performances and concerts to tennis matches. She sat tall at each of our graduations and quietly celebrated with each of us as we received our college acceptances, and job offers. My father dropped out of college and joined the Marines in his early 20s. 25 years later he would earn his BA in Criminal Justice at NCCU and his MA in Public Administration. He has always embodied hard work, perseverance and believing in ones self. When I think of my parents, the baton they passed on to my sisters and I were not only their dreams, but their values and beliefs. They passed on the belief that we are the combination of two very strong families: the Puou's and Carpenter's. We are the Carpenter girls. We carry all their dreams but also our own. It's a burden and a honor. 

Finally, someone acknowledged that there is a privilege to be able to fulfill the American Dream in their lifetime. My parents will not be rich in their lifetime. However, I may and my children definitely will. My children will grow up with an inheritance and they will know this was made through the sacrifices provided by their grandparents, their great grandparents and Tutus. They did not do this on their own. They are standing on the very strong shoulders of those who came before them.

Every American is.

Day 10: I draw energy for the sun

I'm anemic.

I'm cold all the time. I get chicken skin when I'm at work or I'm sitting at the dining room table at the house. Instead of smoke breaks at work, I take sun breaks. I need it to survive. It gives me so much energy.

Being out in the sun after sitting in my office makes me feel like I'm defrosting.

It's an amazing feeling. When I get outside, I want to sit in the grass cross-legged and raise my face to the sun and just smile so hard. I'm sure it would be a cheesy scene but I love it! I love the sun.

I'm pretty sure I've unintentionally tanned this summer because of my love for the sun.

But don't get it twisted.. I'm not outside all day. The sun in California is no joke. That's why I take sun breaks... as in 5-10 minutes throughout the day. I don't do the staying out in the sun for 5-6 hours. No ma'am.

Days 8-9 Collection

Day 8: History made its mark. Make yours.

 I decided on this memoir because it's New Student Orientation. It's officially the beginning of a new year. This quote is on my vision board. I don't remember which magazine I got it from but I loved it from the moment I saw it.. and it's true for this year. History made its mark. Make yours. I have to make and leave my mark in school, at work, with GSC, with SESSA, with NASPA, as a mentor. In everything that I commit myself to, I need to make my mark. Even when it comes to myself.. with my health. I need to make a mark this year. I will make a mark this year.

New Student Orientation did go well. I'll be glad when October comes.. I think. October has to be a quieter month. It just seems like it will be less stressful.. less busy. But I know me.. I'll find a way to have the busiest year until the next year comes.

Day 9: Waiting isn't always a bad thing.

I talked to Jacqui today. It's been a couple months since I last spoke with her. It's always good catching up with her. She's getting her Ph.D, as is Sharawn. Ashley has hers and is now preggers (yay) and Rachel is in med school. Lena got a promotion at Sony and Heather is just recently married. Nikki is raising a beautiful family and planning a wedding, and Starr and Leah are enjoying the birth of their new summer babies... I have some pretty fantastic friends doing some pretty impressive things. But we're all doing it now.. 

In my conversation with Jacqui, we started talking about the culture that Wake promotes.. get your terminal degree. Go to grad school right after graduation. I didn't do that. I worked after graduation and I was scared that I didn't know what I was doing.. but I have always had favor. Public Allies was the best thing that ever happened to me. If we were friends during that year, you also know it was the hardest year for me but I was introduced to fantastic people who I still keep in contact with today. But it also introduced me to NCSSM and Student Affairs where I have ultimately found my passion. Without taking that year with Public Allies, I don't know where I would be. It was an emotional hell for me. Some of it I created.. but some of it, I didn't. It was a hard year but I can honestly look back and say, I wouldn't change it. I resigned from the first professional job I ever had. At 22, I had enough and I resigned. I quit. I never quit. I always finish.. even if I have a terrible time, I finish. But I couldn't finish this one. I was scared and I didn't know what would happen next. But what happened next, led me to my destiny. I love working with young people. I love mentoring. I enjoy event planning and NCSSM allowed me to do all of that. It was exactly what I needed, when I needed it. And it all started with me waiting... holding off going to graduate school. Resigning from a job that made me unhappy, and waiting for one that would make me happy. I worked at a school that made me incredibly happy, sad, tired, and inspired. I waited until I knew for sure what I wanted to go to school for. I waited to figure out what my 10 year plan was. I know it know and because of that, I'm happy.  I'm thriving. And it's all because six years ago, I listened to the voice in me that said I am not ready for this step in front of me. So I stopped.. let others pass me by, and I waited. Waited until it was time for me to make that next step.

Days 6-7 Collection

Day 6: Your plans should reflect your values.

This memoir was given to me by my supervisor, Nola. We were meeting in her office, and discussing the leadership retreat she had attended this past weekend. And she asked me: do your plans reflect your values? 

And then she counted the words and realized she had said a six-word memoir. It was cute and she said she enjoyed reading mine. We talked about the process of creating one, and then journaling about them as I'm doing now. She and I are very much alike in how we live our lives spiritually; in how we mean to be intentional and lead meaningful lives day by day. 

So to answer her question- do my plans reflect my values? I think they do. I value equity and equality. I value compassion and love to and for others. I value kind words, thoughtful messages, and genuine smiles. I want to work in student affairs and/or mentoring. It all relates. I want to see a happier and more equitable world. I am living and working towards doing my part. That's my passion. That's my work's mission. 

What's yours?

Day 7: It's like vacation in a cup!

Definitely more light-hearted than my other memoirs but this was said by one of my lovely board members last night. We were having dinner with President Freund and she mentioned her favorite mixed drink and described it as "vacation in a cup!" How exciting!

Vacation in a cup! What a thought.. it made we wonder.. how could you bottle up your best vacation and place it in a cup to take with you to work each day? What would that look like? Is it a memorabilia? Is it a note? Is it a six-word memoir like these posted on your bulletin board? Is it a picture? How do you take the happiness you experienced in one area of your life and translate it to all?

When you find out, let me know.

Days 4-5 Collection

Well.. life got busy and I wasn't able to update this as I would like, so here's the compilation over the past few days.

Day 4: Weekends are no longer my own.

I think this is pretty self-explanatory. I had great dreams of taking the weekend off. Doing nothing all day Saturday and Sunday, the only plans were making pizza with Diana. All that changed in a matter of 20 minutes on Friday. Two meetings were scheduled; one from 8-11am and another from 12pm- until. We lasted till 7pm. And then we had a follow-up meeting the next morning (yes, I work on Sundays now) at 9am. What happened to rest on weekends? There is no such thing anymore. I have to be incredibly intentional about how I spend my time, and when I say yes or no. I have taken on a lot of responsibilities, which I'm quite positive I can handle.. but man if it doesn't scare me. 

On Friday, I think my body just gave out. I had operated at 95-100% all week that when it came to Friday, I just gave out. I had no motivation and no energy. I had an evening meeting on Friday, that I was just a mess. A silly, entertaining mess because I was sooo tired. I was falling asleep by 9am. I woke up the next day at 8am still tired.. I can't be like this this year. Luckily, this Friday I had no major projects to complete. However, if I don't pace myself and pay attention to my body, I may have the unfortunate outcome of being too tired on a day when I need to be performing at 100%. God help me.

Day 5: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

I went to church this morning....

For the first time in months. I had a 9am meeting that ended around 11am and I passed a church that started at 1130am. I had been a couple times to this ministry and probably won't go back, but it was nice. Not feeling like a wretch... while I was there.

I do need to find a church home. If I'm not careful, CGU will be just like NCSSM.. a bubble that I can't get away from.

Day 3: Lessen the Excess Chatter in Life

Early August, I noticed on my car rides to work that I was continuously changing radio stations, not satisfied with any of the music playing. Occasionally a song would come on that I'd jam to (90s-00s hip hop, Carly Rae Jepson, Beibs As Long As You Love Me- judge me not), but for the most part, I was never satisfied. One day, I was so fed up that I did the unthinkable.. I turned off the radio. I've done it before for lent (gave up listening to music) but that was years ago. This seemed different. It was a quiet ride home but I realized I wasn't annoyed. Score one for me!

Jump to the following week- it's two weeks until move-in day, and the Chaplains Office is offering RA Orientations. Rabbi Daveen begins talking about the meditation sessions offered on Wednesdays and I'm intrigued. I've come to think of my silent car rides as something similar to meditation. Calming.

Last week, I challenged myself (I'm all about challenges) to take a break from all the noise, and just listen. Granted I was on day 2 or 3 of no music in the car, and my tv hadn't been turned on since the weekend but this time I wanted to be intentional about it. I was intentionally lessening all the excess noise and chatter that clouded my mind. I had/have enough going on from a day to day basis, why add more? Especially when it annoys and frustrates me?

So now I'm on week two. It's been an interesting. A couple times this week, on the last five minutes of the drive, I'll turn on the radio to see what's on and it's still the same thing. Me flipping through stations. So off it goes. I suppose I could put in my ipod, but even that's used rarely. When I run, I go solo. No ipod. No headphones. It's safer that way.. but it makes me listen to my breathing, take notice of my surroundings. I feel like my senses are on overload because for once.. I'm not closing myself off to the outside world. I'm allowing every part of me to really listen to every part of me.

This is my meditation.

Day 2: I'm Where I'm Supposed To Be

It took me awhile to think of one today. I actually woke up trying to figure out what would be my six-word memoir for the day. A bit obsessive? I think so. I typically do this though.. when I'm starting on something new, I'm in it 100%. It's after the shine has dulled that I lose my intensity. Anyway, I thought of this memoir at work while I was at the Chaplains Office. It just came to me. It wasn't that I was particularly happy to be doing what I was doing.. I just felt content. I do remember waking up thinking, I'm the most content I've been in years. But I didn't quite know how to phrase that in six words. And then it came to me.

I'm where I'm supposed to be. Exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I can't describe how comforting it is to know that I'm in the right place. In the right space. I've always felt like I was just passing time, going back as far as high school. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt soothing or foundational. But I move to California... it's in the air (minus the smog). I just feel like the me that's always wanted to be, finally has the room to be. It's like finding the perfect size slipper or eating the right temperature porridge. Finally, my happy ending is in sight!

I say in sight, because I'm not there yet. A happy ending would be a happy and blessed marriage, children, a career that I love, friends I adore near and far, pets, and a healthier and more spiritual me. I'm no where near that.. but I'm getting close. It's like I was lost and finally, I'm starting to recognize the landmarks.

Exhale.

Six-Word Memoir 30 Day Challenge (Day 1)

I've been intrigued with the six-word memoir since the NASPA conference in February. It was a meaningful activity that I took away and occasionally find myself trying to sum up my day or week in six words. This past week I decided to google the six-word memoir to see where the idea started. SMITH magazine was the first to start the project and from there, it's become a national project similar to Post Secrets and FOUND.

In keeping with the spirit of meditating, and being mindful about my daily actions, I've decided to start the 30 day six-word memoir challenge. My hope is to post it on facebook each morning, and "journal" about it here or in my private journal if I don't feel like sharing. When I journal, I don't really pay attention to punctuation or grammatical rules. I type as I talk. In short and sometimes, incomplete sentences. Deal or move on. :)

Day 1: I am not a morning person.

It's pretty self-explanatory but this morning, I woke up at the God-awful time of 630am. My sleeping schedule has been all over the place these past two weeks, but in particular today, I had to rearrange my schedule to accommodate an evaluation workshop. I had grandiose plans of waking up at 630am (which I did) and go swimming (which I didn't). Instead, I just stayed in bed thinking.. I am not a morning person. And then I counted, and it was like providence. Six words! BOOM as JP would say.  It's not that I don't like mornings.. I enjoy them a lot. And even when I woke up at 630am, it wasn't like I was pressing the snooze button. I was alert and very conscious.. I just didn't want to get out of bed.