Cha Cha, Ariel

It's August 10th (Sadie's birthday). She's 27. She went to the beach with some of her coworkers. I think they call it the shore in NJ. I have no idea what the difference is. I hope she had fun. We spoke a little this morning but she was on her way to the shore. It's also Junior Move-in day at NCSSM for Jonnell. It's kind of sad but I'm envious of her.. at least she has a job that pays full time and her bills are getting paid. I liked what I did at NCSSM but I didn't see any movement.

I stayed indoors today. I was supposed to apply for jobs but I didn't. I found a few jobs to apply to though. I'm freaking myself out. I paid my bills for the month and looked at my budget for next month. I don't know if I'll last if I don't have another PT or FT job by October. And it's so freaking me out..

I applied for this job a few weeks ago that I thought I had a great chance to at least get an interview. But no call back. Nothing. I'm not sure what's going on but I'm not getting anything. I've had one interview this summer. It's really freaking me out and because of it, I'm stalling on applying for more jobs. I feel like I'm taking a step back with some of the jobs I'm applying for. I know I have the experience and ability to be an Asst. Director but no one is responding.. I may apply for a hall director position, and I really don't want to do that but I need a job and no one is calling me back. I wasn't expecting it to be this hard. Maybe it's my resume or my cover letter. I don't know. I really really don't know.

I think I'm most afraid to have to move back home. I really don't want to do that. Not after living here. I'm trying to be an optimist.. but damn it's hard right now.